Hockey parent horror story written by former pro a reminder to keep things in perspective
By @MichaelCaples –
Some Michigan hockey fans may remember Patrick O’Sullivan from his time with USA Hockey’s National Team Development Program.
Others may remember him as a second-round pick of the Minnesota Wild and a highly-touted prospect who never quite reached his potential in the NHL.
But in his new book – “Breaking Away: A Harrowing True Story of Resilience, Courage and Triumph” – O’Sullivan (with the help of famed hockey writer Gare Joyce) outlines a horror story of a childhood at the hands of his abusive father, who took ‘horrible hockey parent’ to new heights.
O’Sullivan, who has been promoting the book via a Reddit AMA and various interviews, told Sportsnet in Canada about some of the horrors inflicted upon him by his father, who held the nickname “Crazy John” over the course of Patrick’s career.
Look at this absurd treatment of a youngster:
He recounts, in gag-inducing detail, a dinner of Spam and baked beans his dad John — nicknamed “Crazy John” over the course of his failed hockey career — served him. When O’Sullivan vomited up the meal, his dad forced him to eat it. The horrific cycle repeated several times. O’Sullivan was eight at the time.
There were nights he was locked outside until morning. He was forced to run, weighed down by his sweaty equipment, behind his dad’s van after games. He was woken up in the night to do “pushups until my arms gave out…situps until my stomach cramped.”
“When I came off the ice after practice or a game, I never knew exactly what was next, but I knew it was going to be bad,” O’Sullivan writes.
“I’d be looking at an hour or two or more of my father’s conditioning program, running the steps in the arena stands like a hamster on a treadmill or chasing after the van for two or three miles. If he didn’t think that was toughening me up, he’d slap me around. Every year he was ramping it up: slap in the face when I was eight; a slap with more force and a kick in the ass when I was nine; a punch when I was 10; a big right hook on my jaw and a kick in the gut or ribs until I was gasping when I was eleven, twelve and thirteen.”
O’Sullivan, a Toronto native who was a dual citizen (which allowed him to come to the NTDP), began to fight back at age 16 (according to the Sportsnet report) and filed for a restraining order. He had security guards with him at the NHL Draft.
That part stuck out to me. I couldn’t help but think about how at the 2014 NHL Draft, I visited with Dylan Larkin’s family while their son went up on stage to collect his new Red Wings jersey and pose for photos. To think that a player experienced that joy – if he even was able to – with some hired muscle around him instead of a loving and supporting hockey dad is just…a shame, really.
O’Sullivan scored 58 goals in the NHL. Sure, he ‘made it.’ He accomplished something only one or two percent of aspiring athletes ever do. He played in the NHL.
Yet at what cost? This dad who pushed him through horrific training sessions and mental abuse surely will never have his son’s first NHL goal puck on his mantle. How could he ever go into work and brag about his son’s accomplishments? Will he be able to watch his grandkids take their first steps on the ice?
Doubtful. In fact, in the Sportsnet interview, O’Sullivan says he’s introducing his children to the game, but he would be happy if they decided to not pursue their father’s career path.
Not wanting your children to experience the game you grew up with? Talk about a hockey dad doing way too much damage while he was trying to ‘lead’ his child into a hockey career.
What could possibly be worth doing so much emotional, physical and mental damage to your son or daughter? A college scholarship? A cup of coffee in the NHL? Hope you didn’t say yes to either of those. No matter how far your player goes in hockey, a tortured childhood is never worth it. Youth hockey is supposed to be a fun, nurturing environment for a child, where they learn motor skills, teamwork, and a sense of camaraderie with their peers. They’re supposed to be getting exercise and hanging out with their friends – not working towards an ultimate goal.
The best will be the best. They will dominate their age group and they will be scouted and they will go places. They need a stable situation at home, however, not a place they fear. Even if you think your kid could one day play in the NHL, you need to support him and show him that he has a foundation he can lean on when things get tough. It’s not easy for the elite, when most have to move away at 15 or 16 to pursue their career at a high level.
So tell me, think that they will have a better chance of succeeding if they have supportive parents or monstrous ones?
Keep things in perspective, everyone. Mental and physical abuse will not get a kid to the NHL, and even if it did, would it really be worth it?
I don’t think so.